This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.
Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.
If you're more of a "cute sushi place with twinkle lights in the windows" gal, he totally knows that and you will not end up at "dark sports bar with lots of screaming." Bless his heart.11.
Contrary to popular belief, platonic friendships between men and women exist.
The guy who slept with you and then stopped calling you for no reason?
If his last girlfriend texted him 4,000 times a day, you know not to text him 4,000 times a day and thus, only text him 3,999 times a day. One of the hardest parts about dating someone new is "oh my god, who even is this stranger?! He already knows some of your #issues and is fine with them.
Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.
(Are there things you keep secret from your partner? (Are there times you dread spending time with your partner?" but with him, you already have a pretty good sense of who he is because you've spent the last year hanging out with him like pals. He knows that you start imagining he's dead on the side of the road when he doesn't text you back for eight hours so he does his best not to make you think he's dead. If he's the type of guy who would've been your friend whether you eventually dated or not, he's already the best kind of guy to date.We all know the guys who meet you and become friends with you but are really only doing that because they hope one day you'll bone and then if you ever get a boyfriend, they hate you. With him, you've always known he would be your friend either way because he genuinely likes you no matter what, which is the best foundation ever for a kickass relationship. You know how to make each other laugh, so telling him a joke isn't like throwing piles of dust into the wind. You know the basics about his childhood and any possible weirdness there.When you date strangers, it's so hard to know what their sense of humor is or what they find funny, so often you feel like a total weirdo when a joke doesn't land because he doesn't get it or it's not his thing. It's been like a year of the hottest foreplay of your life. No, you haven't met his family yet but you know what his sister does for work, and if he had a brother who was not that nice to him, and whether or not he had a nice or crappy childhood, all of which allowed you to understand him way more than a guy on Tinder you've spoken to for 60 minutes about sports.9.With your guy though, you're already on the same page with that stuff and everything pretty much always lands (unless you make a series of bad puns that you knew were bad, but you just had to say them. At this point, you've had so many months of near hand-holds and "damn it, I want to kiss you but I won't" moments that the build-up is so much more~*intense*~ than it would've been if you'd waited three freaking dates to kiss. You can tell when he's stressed versus mad versus has a personality disorder.