I remind him that at a party, she doesn’t have a hundred men lined up to talk to her. The strength of online dating lies in its ability to give us access to total strangers; the downside is how difficult it is to keep their attention. Finally, we get to talking about the woman he’s writing to. I wrote about this extensively in a chapter from “Why You’re Still Single” creatively called “Don’t Play Games”, but to reiterate: NOTHING GOOD COMES OUT OF PLAYING GAMES. None of those things prevent a guy from being nice. Kindness without confidence is the charge against the wishy-washy “nice guys”.They spoke on the phone last night for the first time. But if you put confidence and kindness together…well, I’d say you have a pretty irresistible combination of traits for a man. Confident men keep their plans after they make them.
The essence of a bad boy is isolation, carelessness, self-indulgence, selfishness and attitude.I reiterate old themes, try to put things into a much-needed perspective. And find out the next time she’s available to talk on the phone.” I’m a big believer in the phone. I don’t want her to think I’m too interested.” An old wives’ tale, I assure him.I remind him that it’s a competitive space, that it’s a buyer’s market for women. He muses that it must be nice to have hundreds of people writing to you. ” “Email her and tell her you had a lot of fun last night. But he’s citing references: “I read in David De Angelo that nice guys finish last.“When she says, ‘You’re too nice,’ it could mean: ‘I’m not sure that you have ambition.I’m not sure you have the ability to stand up for yourself,’” offers Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, a family therapist in Mount Kisco, NY and author of .