A lot is lost in not finding out who the other person is and where the relationship could really go, if one or both people are not facing hurt and conflict directly.In reality, a conflict-free relationship is probably a shallow relationship.Second, you need to find out if the person you are with is capable of dealing with conflict and hurt directly.
(Please note that this interpretation differs significantly from those of Carl Jung and the authors of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.) Although human beings are aware that people differ in how they come to conclusions and experience and express emotions, few understand that these differences in self-expression are driven by innately different perceptual and experiential frames of reference.
Of particular note is a fundamental difference in the experience of emotions when conflicts arise—a difference of such magnitude that role-reversal comprehension is not possible.
These differences are a constant in interactions between thinking and feeling individuals, easily confirmed by observation of one’s personal and professional relationships.
The terms used for descriptive purposes here can be misleading.
For instance, someone with a feeling response orientation is not inherently more able to feel or less able to think than someone with a thinking response orientation; and someone with a thinking orientation is not inherently more able to think or less able to feel than someone with a feeling orientation (Reinhold, 2007).