How did we get into this mess, and how can we avoid it next time? Boundaries are crucial on a first date, which is why it’s important to use the opportunity to gather information.
Setting Boundaries Starts With Good Questions Imagine having a fence around your garden with a locked gate. Once you know more about someone, you can decide if they’ll be allowed to enter your emotional space.
As a coach I listen a lot more than I talk, it’s the nature of what I do.
It’s also a strategy that works well if you find yourself nervous.
They fear they aren’t interesting and will bore their date, hence make a fool of themselves. But let me tell you something: it’s just thoughts, and your thoughts aren’t facts.
The fear is real, I get that, I’ve felt it many times!
The nervous laughs, the desire to impress and the hope of finding “the one” is juxtaposed with the lingering memories of more bad first dates than good ones.
And in that awkward and uncomfortable space, we make all sorts of bad decisions to avoid the unknown, like using alcohol to relax or sexual intimacy to connect.
But this post is to give you some questions that are a little more fun and crazy, AND yet most of them will still help you get to know your spouse a little better. Studies have also shown that the most happily married couples are happy because they have a lot of fun together." -from 5 Tips To Increase The Fun In Your Marriage-I found these from a board game we have.
We were taking a 4 hour drive and so I just grabbed the box of cards that comes in it and left the rest of the game home. What one toy would you like to throw repeatedly at a brick wall?
We found that the questions on the cards not only helped us pass the time on the long drive, but we had a lot of fun with them!
Start the conversation normally — rather than just asking a question, say: “Movies are fun, but the theater is a richer experience. What question do you feel would help you best get to know someone? Lifehack is about helping you improve your life through efficient and comprehensive learning.
Once they tell you if they prefer theater or movies, probe into what about their choice makes it preferable.